Mother’s raising the child and father providing Financial support? This topic ‘split duties for your baby’ sure does arouse a lot of dilemmas, considering the traditional method provided.
A.K.A, mother quitting/taking leave to take care of the baby and the father earning and providing financial support to the family. That’s why we came up with these 5+ Amazing ways to split duties between parents.
If we were to have a reality check, this ain’t 50s and women now work. In addition to this, taking care of the household and the baby is now the job of both the parents.
As designated as these split of duties are, it is less likely in today’s world to think both the parents accept their part in the end deal. Meaning, a mother most likely would like to live on her own condition and would want her husband to equally take the responsibility of the baby.
A father, as well, wouldn’t be able to pull all the financial customs all by himself. With that said, a father would want his time with the baby just equally, as well!
1. Together We Stand, Divided We Fall!
And then both parents in totality would want their space from the household. To accomplish these split of duties/co-parenting and all that’s been mentioned above.
We need to first drop the mentality of women having to completely take care of the baby just because they have breasts or men having to do the financial load because it is the traditional dogma continued.
Both the parents(sometimes the family, too) wanted the baby. So, the responsibility and split of duties should be shared equally with the father, the mother and the family(just in case)
Once we have an understanding of the statement stated above, we sure can get to a solution.
2. Pre-Planning The Split Of Duties
This block might not be of any use if you already have become parents. But if you are planning or if you are expecting or if you are one month pregnant, this might provide you some benefits.
Pre-planning is like an itinerary, you map out what’s important for you in the forthcoming parenting journey. Only this is a not trip to Vegas where you can get wasted and jailed. This is planning a baby, its future, and your coming life… this is hell important.
Pre-planning a baby is understanding the reality of what life would be in the coming future, as I mentioned. No denial in it being magical but a new life is your responsibility, a responsibility that you opted for yourself. So be ready for everything and everything.
Okay, to support a life you need finance, no matter how much money you have, it seems less once you have the baby, things can go wrong any second, you can go money less in a split of events and you would be left with nothing.
(May that never happen but taking the possibility of the worse since we do need to be ready for the worst!) You are out of money but the baby still is on its way!
Make sure you get the insurance done for everything, your job, your life, insurance for upbringing the baby, maternity/paternity insurance. So even if you go penniless, you would have the money to support the upbringing of your baby and that relief would help you to not go complete hysteric.
No matter how ruthless this might sound, it’s the reality check we all must have! Upbringing a baby is no joke. So you need to make sure you are not doing this out of a drunken mistake.
I understand the feeling of wanting to be a father/mother and it is one of the best feelings but make sure you stabilize yourself financially, emotionally first before you start a family.
Bad times, good times… it is corresponding and shouldn’t keep us from the parenthood or anything that we faithfully trust into.
3. First Case Scenario: Baby Care!
3.1. Splitting in half!
Both of you need to give half the hours of attention to the child in order to split the duties equally ergo, giving equal half attention to the baby in the 24 hours.
While the one is busy changing diapers, take rest in the given time as mercy — sit in nature, count stars, breathe fresh air — Yada Yada!
Decide the hours that work for both of you. Say, if the one is in office, the other is with the baby and vice versa. In your hours with the baby… play with them, sleep with the baby, feed the baby, change the baby, your call!
3.2. Keeping A Nana:
I took my chances and saved a bit for the baby. I knew my health was equally important for me as well for the baby and hence I saved. Hired a Nana and life was easy! I could go to work, could take a while off, could rest a bit more.
My Nana was my savior! And trust me keeping a Nana is in no way a waste. Exhausting yourself is no way of saving money. Your health matters and your baby depends on yours. So take the chances of a good Nana!
3.3. Family at the rescue
I remember this case, my friend asked her mother to live with her for the time being with their baby. And I found it very much interesting. First, you don’t have to fear your baby’s safety since they are with your family!
Second, your mother is a bigger mother. Third, we can save the budget of hiring a caretaker. Fourth, you don’t have to stay on paternity leave for long!
It’s a win-win call! I see great success in this one. I really do.
4. Case Scenario Two: Financial Dilemma.
It would be almost rude to ask one party to take all the burden of finances. We all know, household expenses are taken care of by both the people married, and turning all the loads to a single person would be a hell bad job.
I believe if we are doing the split of duties & dividing the responsibility of the baby which we are going to discuss further, we shall ought not to forget dividing this money-calling duty either. It is, after all, a fair call!
So, how do we do that? Paternity leave does not offer us money just job security and it is clearly not the option.
4.1. Work At Home
But with law, there is an amendment that offers you to work at home while being pregnant/parenting a baby. This depends on the department you are involved with but is accessible in almost all the horizons of the corporate.
The money can depend on the work available for you to do at home but money is still money and a lot of help for your partner. This way either of you is not burdening the other down.
If your position is good or has good formal relations with your boss, you can sit down and try to map out a schedule that’s beneficial for both of you, I mean your boss and you.
Boss usually want their work done and if they can either allow you early hour leave or switching days leave.
If you are a freelancer, things can get easy. You won’t have to worry about the office or your boss. And you would be able to financially support the baby and your partner. With one working at home and the other having a corporate job, you will support each other with enough finance.
4.3. Don’t Worry Too Much
Things will turn out the way they were supposed to be. Worrying too much will do you no good. So, take a deep breath, time can be rough but still is the best one, since it brought you a baby.
I say, challenge everything, fight everything but don’t get scared of it. You are self capable of turning the chairs upside down. You got this!
Life after a baby is going to be different. Period. Certainly, you will be hell tired and almost wanting to call the whole parenting to a halt. But being helped out and understood is going to dilute your extra work.
So, just hold your breath up for a little while and I’m certain you will pull through. If you have got more tips to help other mothers with, let us know in the comments section down below. Until then,